Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1
Vietnam
Chapter 2
New Home
in Kofu
Chapter 3
Hong Kong
China,
&
Korea
Chapter 4
Yamanashi
Chapter 5
Society
Chapter 6
Hospital
Chapter 7
Nikko
Chapter 8
Holiday
Greetings
Chapter 9
Culture
Chapter 10
Holiday
Trip:
Kansai
&
Kyushu
Chapter 11
Mores
Chapter 12
Hankos
& Brush-
writing
Chapter13
Friends
Chapter 14
Festivities
Chapter 15
Okinawa
&
Nagasaki
Chapter 16
Hong Kong
&
Australia
Chapter 17
Special
People
&
Events
Chapter 18
Coming
to
Japan
Chapter 19
Letter to
Editor
Chapter 20
Teaching
English
Chapter 21 Hamamatsu
Chapter 22
Women's
Relation-
ships
Chapter 23
Reflections
on
Education
Chapter 24
Nephews'
Visit
Chapter 25
Thailand,
Korea
&
Home
Chapter 26
Taking
Stock
Chapter 13
Good Friends
January 29, 1996
Dear BJ & Dick,
Your letters arrived at a very timely moment. I had just received phone calls from both Robin and Sally, telling me that the Steelers lost the Super Bowl. I am bummed. Especially since they lost to the Cowboys. Oh well, as I told Tom, it could have been worse. At least we made a decent showing, and there is always another season.
You have no idea how much your letters have helped me deal with this whole year. Don’t get me wrong, it has been a fabulous experience and I wouldn’t have passed it up for anything. I now have some good friends of my own here, and I will feel very sad when I leave. However, there is nothing like communication with someone who speaks the same language. I am not talking about English, although that certainly helps a great deal. I think you know what I mean.
You have buoyed me more than once when I was trying to put some difficult things into perspective. And you’ve done it once more.
I wanted to write in response right away, because my friend will arrive this week, and she will be here for almost 6 weeks. During that time I probably will put correspondence on hold. More about that later.
First of all, thanks for the Christmas gift of phone certificates. That was very thoughtful of you, and much appreciated. I have talked to both Robin and Sally fairly regularly. One or the other calls almost every week. I think Robin really misses her mother. One time she called just because she had the flu and wanted some long-distance support. Sometimes she calls because she says that Alyssa misses us. Anyway, I don’t feel as cut-off as I would without phone communication.
Also, thanks for the pictures of your babies. Sounds like you are having lots of fun with them. We’re glad you enjoyed the pictures of Nikko. We had some nice days there. Yesterday they showed scenes of Nikko on TV. The falls are huge icicles and there is snow everywhere. It must be beautiful. Of course the fall colors were beautiful when we were there. There are so many places we still want to see that there is no way we will be able to do it all before we leave.
Yes, there was water under the bridge at Nikko and that was the sacred bridge. The water flows into the lake, or from the lake. I don't know which. The waterfalls and mountain streams feed the lake. It looks like it is natural, so we were surprised that there was no water under the bridge when Dick was there.
We had a nice Christmas and a good trip. I’m sure you will read about it in our next newsletter, which you may have already received. I agree with you about how we build up the holidays in our minds and then feel let-down much of the time. I think our Christmas this year was simple and nice, although we did miss family and friends.
If I were home this winter I probably would have quit my job. There is no way that I would have driven to work in all the snow in order to keep from being furloughed, not knowing whether I would get paid or not. Especially with the memory in my head from last winter, of all those nights I had to stay overnight at the hospital because I could not drive home.
All this stuff with the budget must be just about destroying any morale that existed there in the first place. I think about you guys a lot and wonder how you are all doing. I also wonder how the public views all of this and whether it will sway the election
You ask me what I am going to do when we get home. I don’t know. First of all I don’t think the VA or the government is going to be hiring. Secondly, I can’t even imagine going back to the program when it doesn’t exist anymore. From what I understand it sounds like both are combined into one, with one psychologist and one head nurse and one big boss. So I don’t know.
What do you think? I am open to suggestions.
I have started to think about what I want to do and still haven’t come up with the answers. I don’t want to think about it for awhile, but do believe that something is going to work out and it will be what I am supposed to be doing in the end.
One thing that I have learned for certain about myself is that I need to be learning and teaching. Studying kanji has been an adventure, and I’ve enjoyed it immensely even though I probably will never use it again (I recognize somewhere around 800 characters, now).
The calligraphy that I have been working on diligently for months says, "Laughter, Love, and Peace." It is taken from a plaque that Robin got us right after we were married. I brought it to Japan and it has been much admired. I decided I wanted to write that message in calligraphy. I will give the original plaque to my calligraphy teacher when we return home, as a small token of all that she has done for me..
I have become quite fond of my calligraphy teacher. She is a doll. This week she said to me, "You stay in Japan, and Robin and Alyssa can come here." There are a bunch of elementary students and a few older women who take lessons at the same time and I feel like a mascot in a way. I teach them all English and they all teach me the proper way to draw the kanji. I feel so dumb, but decided that is okay. Because even the children have had experience with writing these Chinese characters, and I had never even seen them before coming here.
I now have five students who I tutor. My first student, Hisae, has a friend, Kaoru, who will be joining her for classes.
They go to a public school in Kofu and are teaching me a lot about the school system. One of the things that I find intriguing is that students usually confine their relationships to people from their own school. This is due to the sense of group loyalty that is instilled in all Japanese at an early age. Students may have friends at other schools, but most of any free time they have is shared with classmates.
Hierarchy also enters into students' social lives. There is an unspoken ranking of schools. The school a student attends depends on how well he/she performs on the entrance test, and the wealth of the family. Therefore, students who attend the better schools feel a sense of superiority over those who don't.
Mrs.Ogawa asked me if I would give her daughter, Chika, private lessons, and I talked Kaoru into coming with her. (We are having such fun. Last week we baked oatmeal raisin cookies, and this week we are making blueberry muffins - talking up a storm and laughing as we do it.) I am using Scrabble to help teach English and plan to give it to them when we leave.
Chika is a student at Eiwa, majoring in Japanese. The students have a choice of majoring in English, science, or Japanese. Whatever each student chooses as a major will greatly affect which college they can attend and their career choices. Chika is a good student, a talented musician, is in the kendo club at school, and is a delightful young woman, much like her mother. She dotes on her adorable younger brother, Yohei.
My other student, Mrs. Naito, is a good friend of my massager. She is a calligraphy teacher. Her daughter is studying for a graduate degree in economics at Harvard and she wants to be able to speak better English herself. She is an elegant, very intelligent lady, who has traveled extensively. We often talk about the history of Japan and travel as we converse in English. She teaches me about Japan while I teach her English.
Mrs. Hanawa, Ms. Enomoto, Marie, Mrs. Naito
Each of the students is at a different level and it is a challenge to help each of them from where they are. This everyday one-on-one interaction is the most rewarding of any that I have had in Japan. I feel like I am making friends for life.
My massager, Haruko Hanawa, is a neat lady. She speaks almost no English and I speak no Japanese, but she is great at drawing, although she has very poor eyesight. When we returned from Kumomoto on our holiday trip, I discovered that it was her hometown. When I mentioned that we had been there, she drew a beautiful rendition of Kumomoto Castle in about 20 seconds. She has a wonderful sense of humor. We laugh a lot and there is no communication problem as far as I am concerned. She has "wonderful hands" as one of the Eiwa teachers, Ms. Enomoto, told me. When I go to see her every week I sometimes get acupuncture, in addition to my regular massage.
Carolyn, who is coming this week, has been my friend for almost 30 years. We will be showing her some of Japan, including Kamakura, and Tokyo, before she and I go off on a trip by ourselves to Hong Kong and Australia. We’ll be in Hong Kong for four days, which will include the Chinese New Year, and in Australia for almost 2 weeks. During some of that time Tom will be on the trip with Eiwa to Nagasaki and Okinawa. We’ll cover all that stuff in our next newsletter.
I hope by the time you get this letter that the government crisis is over, that the snow is done for the year and that you have had no more serious flooding. Hope you are both well and happy. Take care and thanks for the interesting correspondence. Dick, we are impressed with your memory of the language. "Hai. Genki, desu."
Love,
Marie and Tom
