Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1
Vietnam
Chapter 2
New Home
in Kofu
Chapter 3
Hong Kong
China,
&
Korea
Chapter 4
Yamanashi
Chapter 5
Society
Chapter 6
Hospital
Chapter 7
Nikko
Chapter 8
Holiday
Greetings
Chapter 9
Culture
Chapter 10
Holiday
Trip:
Kansai
&
Kyushu
Chapter 11
Mores
Chapter 12
Hankos
& Brush-
writing
Chapter13
Friends
Chapter 14
Festivities
Chapter 15
Okinawa
&
Nagasaki
Chapter 16
Hong Kong
&
Australia
Chapter 17
Special
People
&
Events
Chapter 18
Coming
to
Japan
Chapter 19
Letter to
Editor
Chapter 20
Teaching
English
Chapter 21 Hamamatsu
Chapter 22
Women's
Relation-
ships
Chapter 23
Reflections
on
Education
Chapter 24
Nephews'
Visit
Chapter 25
Thailand,
Korea
&
Home
Chapter 26
Taking
Stock
Chapter 18
Coming to Japan
April 10,1996
Dear Ben and Jonathan,
We are really excited that you are coming to visit us in Japan. We have all kinds of things that we hope we will be able to show you and have you experience. As you know, Uncle Tom has been an expert on Japan for a long time, and he likes to introduce it to others as much as possible. Our friends are also eager to meet you.
Before you come, there are some things we want you to know about. They will help you have a better time and make the best impression while you are here. We will try to teach you as much as we can about Japan before you come so you can appreciate it better while you are here.
First, as I already told your mother, you should practice using chopsticks. We don't always use them when we are eating at home, and even some restaurants offer knives, forks and spoons. However, there are many places where chopsticks are the only eating utensils offered. It is easier to practice using them when no one is looking. But don't worry too much if you have trouble with them. We will help you with them when you get here. Japanese people will be very impressed if you can use them!
It would also be a good idea to practice taking your shoes off and putting them on very quickly. That is important because people take their shoes off before going in anyone's home, all temples, some stores, some inns, some restaurants, and at Uncle Tom's school. He has a shoe locker at school, where he keeps the shoes that he wears only inside the school and changes before and after school. Some people even have special shoes that they wear in their cars, so they take their other shoes off before getting in their car! Most of our friends don't do that, though. We don't know how, but most young people slip into their sneakers without untying them. We don't do that and we won't try. So we don't recommend that for you. This may sound silly but it really will make your visit easier if you can do the "shoe off" and "shoe on" thing rather quickly. If you don't believe me, call Carolyn and ask her. She visited us in February and had some difficulty perfecting that part! A pair of slip-on shoes (like loafers) would be best if you have them.
Have you ever heard of the "ugly American"? People from America have earned a bad reputation from how they behave when visiting other countries. They often act arrogant, loud, or obnoxious in other ways. We try very hard to behave in a way that is a good reflection on Americans, rather than a bad reflection. It makes a difference and helps with international relations. People are also nicer to us when we respect their culture. Sometimes we are embarrassed by how other Americans act. Sometimes they act that way because they are ignorant of the customs here. Sometimes it is because they are thoughtless or just plain rude. Americans tend to be louder than Asians, and take up more than their share of space. Also it is considered rude to stare here. Once I was looking at a child on a bus and Uncle Tom reminded me not to look. It took a little while to get used to, but I'm certain you can pick it up quickly.
We feel sad when we see pictures that depict Americans and other foreigners as some kind of barbarians. This week we saw a new recycling poster on TV. It showed Japanese tourists picking up after themselves and depositing their trash in a receptacle. It showed Westerner teenagers (probably Americans) scratching their stomachs and tossing their soda bottles in the street!! That made us mad. However, since gaijin (foreigners) are so much more noticeable here, one person can give others a bad rap. We were recently told a story about some Americans who were climbing Mt. Fuji. They handed their trash to a worker on their way down to dispose of, and the worker, as well as the people around them, were very upset and thought they were rude. Because we are Americans, one person who saw it decided we should know.
We don't want you to worry too much. We will help you understand what you need to know about the culture and behavior while you are here. If we are ever in doubt will ask Uncle Tom. Believe me, he is the expert. He helped me a lot when I first came to Japan, and everything he told me was very important.
Here are some basic things to know:
It is considered rude to count your change when you make a purchase. It is insulting to the person who gave you the change. (If I am confused about how much something costs, I go around the corner or down the street, out of the person's field of vision, and then count the money.) Actually, the cashier has probably counted it two or three times before handing it to you.
You should not sit with the bottoms of your feet facing anyone. It is an insult to anyone who is Buddhist. If you are interested, you might want to read something about Buddhism before you come, but only if you are interested. Otherwise, Uncle Tom will tell you anything you might want to know.)
It is important to have a package of tissues in your pocket because many bathrooms don't have toilet paper. It is also good to have "Wet Ones" or something like that, because hardly any public places have hot water or paper towels. That is a pain, but we have gotten used to it. We have plenty of tissues but you might want to bring some Handi Wipes with you, the small kind in individual packets that you can put in your pocket. Uncle Tom will teach you about Japanese toilets (otearai), unless you father wants to fill you in. You won't need to know about them until you get here.
It is considered rude to eat food or drink anything while walking on the street. (There are some exceptions which we can tell you about later.) And it is rude to point at anything or stare at anyone. One of the rudest things that you can do is blow you nose anywhere in public. And even though Americans think it is very rude to slurp food, it is considered polite in Japan. If a person makes a lot of noise it means they are enjoying the food. (We still can't do that because it still doesn't feel right to us.)
Language is very complicated. There is one spoken language, but four different ways of writing. One consists of Chinese characters that are called kanji. I know enough of them that I can read many signs, but there are tens of thousands in all, and I only know about 800! In Japan a person must know about 1800 by the time they graduate from high school. I think kanji are interesting, but very difficult to learn. If you are interested in learning any before you come to Japan, let me know and I will send you a book that makes it fun to learn.
The second written language is called hiragana and it is used to write and sound out Japanese words, while katakana is used to write and sound out foreign words. Uncle Tom is good at both of those. So between us, we can read many signs. The fourth type of writing is Romaji, which is the same as our letters. There are many English words that have been incorporated into Japanese everyday language, but they pronounce them differently. Almost all of our friends speak English, so that makes it easier for us, but we make certain to speak clearly and fairly slowly. Some people think that if they speak loud and clearly, people will understand them better,but that just sounds rude instead of helping others to understand.
There are many things about Japan that you might like better than the United States and other things will seem very weird to you. One thing that is interesting about travel is learning that cultures are very different from each other, and just because we do things a certain way, that doesn't mean it is the right way! So it is nice to learn about other cultures with an open mind. Uncle Tom is going to give you the name of a book or two that might help you understand a little bit before you come and if you want to read more, just ask us for more recommendations. A very basic book is titled The Land and People of Japan. It's easy reading, but has a lot of very good information. Another book about Japan that's a good introduction is the volume in the McDonald's series of countries of the world. If you can find one or both of those books and read them, look in their bibliographies for other recommended readings.
One of the things I like the most is how old many things are. It is hard for me to imagine that a building we saw last week was 600 years old. And one tree we saw was 800 years old. Our country is brand-new compared with all the customs and culture that we see everyday here. That impresses me a lot.
People live so close together, that it is difficult for some foreigners to get used to, but that never bothered me. I do understand better why people don't look at each other very much, though. They have such limited personal geographic space (most people live in apartments or have homes with tiny yards) that they protect their internal space by keeping sort of "self-enclosed". You'll see what I mean when you get here.
I'm not certain what other things might seem different or odd to you. We have been here long enough that we don't really think much of things that used to feel unusual. So we will be interested in experiencing Japan through your eyes and impressions.
Some things we hope to do with you include taking you to see a castle or two, and arranging for you to sit in on some kendo or aikido lessons. We hope you can learn some calligraphy, hike in the mountains (if you are interested), and visit some historic areas. I think that riding the trains here will be an adventure in itself. We are very impressed with the transportation system. We think you will like it, too. Do you have any ideas about what you might want to do?
We look forward to seeing you and spending some time with you here in our second home.
Love, Aunt Marie
