Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1
Vietnam
Chapter 2
New Home
in Kofu
Chapter 3
Hong Kong
China,
&
Korea
Chapter 4
Yamanashi
Chapter 5
Society
Chapter 6
Hospital
Chapter 7
Nikko
Chapter 8
Holiday
Greetings
Chapter 9
Culture
Chapter 10
Holiday
Trip:
Kansai
&
Kyushu
Chapter 11
Mores
Chapter 12
Hankos
& Brush-
writing
Chapter13
Friends
Chapter 14
Festivities
Chapter 15
Okinawa
&
Nagasaki
Chapter 16
Hong Kong
&
Australia
Chapter 17
Special
People
&
Events
Chapter 18
Coming
to
Japan
Chapter 19
Letter to
Editor
Chapter 20
Teaching
English
Chapter 21 Hamamatsu
Chapter 22
Women's
Relation-
ships
Chapter 23
Reflections
on
Education
Chapter 24
Nephews'
Visit
Chapter 25
Thailand,
Korea
&
Home
Chapter 26
Taking
Stock
Chapter 25
Thailand, Korea, and Home
October 18, 1996
Dear Friends,
Here is the final letter that we have been promising people. We have been home almost 2 months now, and we are just beginning to get back to something resembling normalcy. Although we are very happy and relieved to be back in the USA and appreciate it with a new awareness, it has been quite an adjustment resuming life in this culture. Many of the adjustments have been subtle -- others major, like learning to drive on the right side of the road. But this is the first time we feel that our minds are clear enough to give you a recap of the last couple of months of our out-of-country experience (or is it "out of body"?). We are both different than we were before beginning our journey, changes include some values, views of Japan, views of ourselves, and many things that are difficult to put a finger on, but which we feel internally.
In addition, we are grappling with the issues of a changed view regarding every day activities. What is "work" and what is its value in our life, and all kinds of existential questions that occur at the time of retirement. (Tom is definitely retired and has no regrets about that decision. Marie's decision about returning to work, and what kind, is evolving.)
Since we have our journals, we can use them to recapture the events, people, places, and feelings of the latter part of our trip. Also, we can also process it for ourselves as we tell you about it.
Our journal for July 29th begins, "We're exhausted! After many nights of limited sleep and non-stop packing, cleaning, and saying 'good-bye' tearfully to our many friend, it is time to actually leave. We're both numb. It is too overwhelming to take in emotionally."
Seventeen people had come to see us off at Kofu Station. Some were from Eiwa, both teachers and students. Some from the YMCA. Some former exchange students. Some Marie's private students. And some from the calligraphy class. All were emotional, including us. Our lingering memory is of people tapping on the window, waving, and crying as the train left the station. We were speechless for quite awhile on our way to Tokyo. Then we were on to the airport the next morning to depart for Thailand via Manila..
In those last few weeks we had introduced our nephews to Japan and tried to give them as much of a sampling of the culture as possible in the short time they were there. We did introduce them to aikido and kendo, they had a couple of calligraphy lessons, as well as experiencing the standard tourist fare. They were a big hit at Eiwa, where many of the all-female student body were heard shouting, "Benjamin," "Jonathan" from great distances. They were treated like celebrities: Being asked for their addresses, having their pictures taken, etc. It was the most intense attention that they have ever experienced. They were not always comfortable, but they handled it with aplomb.
They fielded questions well (including some rather sticky ones) and got first-hand knowledge in teaching English as a second language. It was especially challenging for them to try to teach hyperactive first graders who came to the Y at the end of a long day at school, but they did a nice job. Jonathan also had the opportunity to help a group of women students at the Y to understand some of the differences between Japanese and American schools. Ben opted to observe Mrs. Hanawa perform acupuncture on his uncle. He watched those needles much more closely than either of us ever would dare. Jonathan seemed especially impressed by the richness and history of the culture. Ben learned some interesting things from "hands on" experience. For instance, he admired a poster in our photo shop, only to have it presented to him! He said, "You were right, Aunt Marie!!" Both were quite taken with the way that people went out of their way to make them feel welcome and the kindness with which they were treated. But if you get a chance, ask Jonathan or Ben yourself about some of their experiences. They have some good stories to tell.
We realized after returning to the US that the year had been very stressful for us. It was a year of not being able to be anonymous -- and always being the center of attention, except when we were alone in our own apartment. In addition, there was the stress of living in a country where English is a second language. Finally, the culture cannot be understood from the perspective of a Westerner no matter how hard one tries. One can experience it, but never understand it. Tom says that it is easier for someone who has visited Japan a couple of weeks (or read about it) to think they understand the culture, than it is for someone who has much more experience with it. That is just not congruent with Western thinking, but that is the way it is. We have both read and heard so many things about Japan from people who state their knowledge definitively, and find that rarely does it match our own personal experience. For instance, we recently read a newspaper account about some teachers who visited Japan for 10 days and, among other things, commented on the importance of punctuality among the Japanese. This is the antithesis of everything we experienced the entire year. About the only thing we can say definitively is that it is an ancient, fascinating culture.
An interesting aside about the above relates to an article we read in the Japan Times while there. It was an article about students who have international educational experiences. It stated that for children who go to school in another country for a year, it takes three years for them to relearn Japanese customs and rules of conduct. That being the case, we wondered how a Westerner could ever come to think they understand Japanese rules of conduct or customs. It remained a mystery to us throughout our stay, no matter how much we read, how many questions we asked, or how carefully we behaved.
So you may be able to tell that we will be processing our experience for a long time to come, but don't ever expect to understand it fully. And that is okay. It is an immeasurably rich time of our lives.
For people who are interested in traveling to Japan, we can offer all kinds of advice....some pragmatic so you don't do anything to really embarrass yourself; some simply about tourist attractions,what is worth seeing, etc., and what you don't want to miss. But our primary advice would be, don't go thinking you can come back being an expert on Japan. Don't try to understand the culture. Try to simply experience it. It is well worth the experience.
On to Thailand. It was stressful in a completely different way. Although we are glad we went, the bottom line is that we never felt quite safe the whole time we were there, It probably didn't help that we were informed of the murder of a man from central Pennsylvania who was living in Thailand, shortly before our trip there. The man had requested a taxi driver to take him to a club where he ordered a drink. Someone drugged his drink (a common problem), with the intent of robbing him. He died from the drug, and his wife was told to get him out of the country and not make problems.
We had read of other similar happenings. We knew that there was a strong organized crime element and that we would need to take precautions to protect ourselves. We also have strong feelings about the sex trade with Thailand and the drug trafficking. We have several friends in Japan who are activists in the attempt to stop the "sex trips" from Japan to Thailand. Nevertheless, we had been told by friends that Thailand is a great place to visit and we wanted to see it for ourselves. We planned to stay in good hotels and made as many of the travel arrangements in advance as possible. We knew that we should never take an unmetered cab, as they are owned by the equivalent of the Mafia. We had a fair idea of what things should cost, and knew that bargaining is required to get those rates. None of that prepared us for what awaited us.
After a ten-hour delay in Manila, where we watched mechanics work on our plane, with no information about the problem, and no idea regarding a possible flight time, we arrived in Bangkok in the wee hours of the morning, Since we were exhausted when we arrived, we didn't have the stamina to combat the forward assault and coercion with which we were greeted at the airport -- a scene that was repeated each time we exited a plane in Thailand, no matter what the city. Before we could leave and obtain transportation to our hotel, we were strong-armed into relenting to participate in a "free" "temples and city" tour. Of course it was a ruse to get us to a factory, which they misrepresented as government owned, a non-existent entity in the country -- and it ended up costing us plenty! To spare you a lot of the details, this kind of interaction occurred too many times to mention. The worst was when a taxi driver agreed to take us to a particular place for an agreed on fare, paid in advance, only to stop in the middle of nowhere and demand more money. As our trusted guidebook stated, it was important to report all this to the Government Tourist Information police, because the government is trying to clean things up, but their hands are pretty much tied at this point - due to the control of organized crime. That gave us a very warm feeling.
In retrospect, we don't think we were in any real danger at any time, but we were plenty uncomfortable more than once, and it took us awhile to get into a rhythm of rolling with the punches.
All that aside, Thailand has many things worth seeing and a culture worth experiencing, as well as food that we could eat all the time. The temples (wats) are plentiful, colorful and different from those we saw in other countries. In another time and place they might be described as "garish" with roofs and walls consisting of mosaics of multi-colored glass mirrors, and a profusion of gold leaf. But they are an important part of what makes Thailand. We were impressed by the devotion with which people entered and visited the temples -- there was a real sense of affirmation of faith, rather than simply a tourist attraction. A tangible sign of this devotion is the profusion of spirit houses we saw. Many homes have these ornate structures which house the spirits people want around their property. However, since these spirits can cause trouble in a family's house people create elaborate and more appealing structures to attract the spirits.
Most of the country is Buddhist and people, including the king, appear to actively observe religious holidays, as well as practice their faith on a daily basis. This was not what we experienced in Japan or other countries we visited.
It was an interesting time to visit Thailand for several reasons. The country was observing the golden jubilee of the king's rule, so everywhere we went there were huge posters, signs, and other shrines erected to celebrate his 50 years as king. Royalty is revered in Thailand and reminders of that are omnipresent. Our guidebook reminded us that it could be a criminal offense to say anything that could be considered disrespectful to the monarchy. Also, twice a day -- morning and evening -- the national anthem is played over the radio, and it is imperative that everyone stand when they hear it being played. This occurs everywhere but Bangkok, where it is too noisy to hear anything that might be broadcast. Anyway, several times we were awaiting trains at railroad stations, when the national anthem was played and we became witness to and part of the pageantry.
While in Thailand, two boxers won medals in the Olympics, one earning the first gold medal ever for the country. His prizes included a check for 30 million baht, a monthly stipend of about 3 million baht, and many other gifts and honors. Both medal winners presented their medals to the king in an impressive, formal ceremony that was telecast live. In return, the king awarded a Buddhist emblem to each of them.
In addition to being the noisiest, Bangkok, is also the most polluted place we have ever visited, and it is difficult to breathe after walking only a few block. The smells are offensive and powerful. The policemen even wear face masks to protect themselves from the pollution. Another line in the journal asks, "Why are there so many pathetic, mangy, dogs everywhere we go? It is really sad." One dog had a seizure on the sidewalk as we walked and everyone just ignored it. We never did get used to Bangkok's own brand of charm ----
If we were to go to Thailand again we probably would spend more time in Chiang Mai, where shopping is a treat, prices great if you like to bargain, and the carnival atmosphere at the night markets, entertaining. Our favorite hotel was in Chiang Mai also, until we arrived home and discovered that the clerks did not mail our postcards we entrusted to them. (Apparently it is common practice to steam off the stamps and keep them` rather than mail tourists' cards. -- We had heard of that practice in Vietnam, but only had the experience of people being honest with us there. --).
Krabi had some lovely sights and huge rock outgrowths in the water that reminded us of Halong Bay in Vietnam -- but lacked the overall beauty of Halong Bay.
In fact, try as we might to simply experience Thailand in and of itself, we found ourselves comparing it unfavorably to Vietnam with every encounter we had, and Tom found all kinds of similarities with India. The spirit of the people is so different from those in Vietnam, the energy level doesn't compare, and in Thailand we felt accosted, while we felt truly welcomed in Vietnam. The smells and customs, as well as some architecture were reminiscent of India.
We wondered if we would have had a different experience if we had been with an organized tour, something we generally don't like to do. However, in this case we think we may have been able to enjoy the best of what the country has to offer, while being protected from the harsher elements. However, we wouldn't have gotten a real sense of the feel of the place. Our advice to someone else, who wants to visit Thailand is that you find a tour that offers you a variety of places to visit, but don't spend any more time in Bangkok than you have to. The ruins in Ayuthaya are worth seeing; we can recommend some good restaurants in Krabi; Chiang Mai should not be missed. We are glad we went -- but boy were we glad to get out of the country by the time we left -- ears, nose, and throat swollen and throbbing from the pollution, and ready to shed the easiness that was a constant companion throughout our stay. Meanwhile, we promised ourselves that we would buy a Thai cookbook when we got home.
UPDATE: Since returning home friends who have gone to Thailand say it was there favorite place to visit. For other people's travel experience in Thailand you might want to visit http://www.travelforum.org/thailand
Emotional exhaustion was great when we reached Seoul, and we were anxious to be reunited with our friend, Mr. Lee. However, when we arrived at the Seoul Education Center Hotel, which Mr. Lee reserved for our stay, we discovered that he was at a educational conference in another part of the country and would not be back until the night before we would leave for the USA. That was okay because we needed to sleep -- and recover -- from Thailand, and from our emotional leave-taking from Japan. We needed to deal with the emotions of finally going home and seeing friends and family whom we hadn't seen for so long. We wonder what it will be like to be back in America where freedom of speech is a "given" and what will it be like to be somewhere where English is a first instead of second language. It might actually be difficult to live somewhere where we understand everything that is being said, and where it might be considered impolite to tune out most of what we hear as "background noise" -- on the streets and in stores. We know we will have to start being more careful about speaking freely to each other in public about what is going on around us, because people can't understand what we are saying anyway.
We wonder what it will be like to arrive in a major airport in the USA, and whether foreigners feel welcome and taken care of -- or whether they feel confused and pushed around like we have felt in some foreign airports. From the time when we left home until we arrive back home, Marie will have taken 28 different flights and visited 7 countries and Tom will have had 25 separate flights and visited 6 countries. We've had a chance to compare major airlines and tiny ones -- and we have come to appreciate the little courtesies of travel that make a major difference. Now we just want to go home.
But first Korea. Both times we visited Korea we were in transit. That is not fair to Korea, which does have some interesting things to see and historic places to appreciate. But for us it has been a good place to help make the transition from Eastern to Western culture. It is much more westernized than the other countries we have visited. More people speak English, and the English they speak is more understandable. There are many restaurants that serve western food, including many that belong to American chains. (We were happy to go to TGI Friday the first night in Seoul.) Overall, as we said in one of our earliest letters, Seoul is a city that combines ancient and modern, is laid out in a way that makes it easy to get around, and the subway system is a breeze to use. Nice wide city streets, with civilized crossing of streets and walk lights that are honored by pedestrians and drivers -- It is easy to walk around, although it is very hot and humid and we're soaked within a few moments of going outside. It feels like we have experienced torrid tropical heat since June.
A note from our journal -- "The next leg of the trip is going to be 22 hours. What is it going to feel like? Re-framing -- need to treat this time in Korea as a time for R&R -- to have a personal spa -- to rest up for the onslaught of travel ahead."
Our hotel wasn't the Shilla, but we were glad of that! The place that we stayed belongs to the Korean equivalent of our National Education Association, and has branches in different areas of Korea. It is essentially a resort which teachers own, the money to fund it being deducted from their paychecks. It is used for conferences, meetings, etc., and teachers can take their families there for vacations at a much cheaper rate than other hotels. It included several restaurants, swimming pools, gymnasium, etc. -- we don't know what all, because we didn't explore it that much. It was located in a completely different part of Seoul and gave us a chance to explore areas we hadn't seen before. We could stay there because we were guests under Mr. Lee's membership. We didn't get the reduced rate, but the rates were much better than the Shilla, we're certain.
One thing we noticed was that prices were considerably higher in Korea than they had been one year earlier`(Something we also noted, with disappointment, in the USA),` and many people were grumbling about the high cost of things. One American told us that prices had increased over 30 percent in less than a year. It was still cheaper than Japan, but we were astounded that things - from hotel bills to restaurants to souvenirs had increased significantly. (In the previous 2 months subway fares had increased from 270 won to 400 won.)
One thing that didn't change is that there is a bimodal distribution of people who are extremely pushy and literally shove each other out of the way and those who go out of their way to help us and make us feel welcome in their country. One young woman with four boys (ages 9-13) in tow, insisted on personally accompanying us to the Palace --(We wouldn't have followed anyone anywhere in Thailand - an absolutely sacred travel rule is don't ever take anything from anyone while there.) Others stop to ask if we need help every time we pause to look at a map. We had some really nice interactions with people who are Korean American visiting their homeland, with Americans teaching English in Korea, and young Korean students, among others. Real human contacts. Nice. We realize how much we have missed that sort of human interaction.
One particularly emotional experience for us was seeing a large contingent of boy scouts from Kyushu (the southern island in Japan, which includes Nagasaki) visiting the War Memorial, with its many reminders of Japan's aggression and colonization -- beginning in 1592. And this week is the celebration of Independence Day in Korea - Independence from Japan. We applaud those scout leaders for bringing the boys to Korea, and especially to this memorial -- so they can begin to understand their country's role in the world a bit better. We wonder what it feels like for them to see this display. For many it probably was the first they had heard the other side of the story. (When we have talked to some former PV/Eiwa exchange students, they said the most traumatic experience of their year in America was studying about W.W.II, and discovering things about Japan's aggression that they didn't know.)
Also while visiting the war memorial and with things that are going on in North Korea, we wonder how much of a threat the people in the Republic of Korea are feeling from the north. -- Meanwhile there is all the stuff going on with the trials of the former leaders of the ROK and the atmosphere among the students is heated -- with one riot that took place in Seoul, but not close to where we are staying.
Also, meanwhile the food poisoning epidemic is continuing in Japan, and we wonder where it will end. It could be worse, considering that it is E-Coli and hot water and soap are rare in public places in Japan. Paper towels and/or hand dryers are almost nonexistent. We wonder how they can miss the obvious -- that it is important to wash hands with hot water and soap -- not just rinse them with cold water and then dry them with a handkerchief from your pocket. (We will miss Japanese toilet facilities less than anything about Japan -- but China's are much worse.)
A page from our journal of August 14th:
Just realize what we've been missing this whole year & how precious it is- down to the bone & center of who I am -- Freedom of speech
It was a subtle process of giving it up -- In Vietnam, a declared communist country there was awareness -- and in China, strongly felt -- in Japan it is sneaky -- in Thailand frightening -- but suddenly in Korea it has become apparent how much pressure we have been under for a year or more
Anxious to get home
On the other hand, we found great energy and openly expressed emotion in Korea that we hadn't seen for a long time. Families laughing together, men holding hands as they walk down the street, women doing the same, as well as young people. We're not weird for holding hands here like we were in Japan. While walking we saw two men playing tag in the street, while they waited for someone to rescue them and their broken down car. Tom said, "I'm sure that's what I would be doing!" But they were laughing and playing while waiting. We also were witness to an angry argument between two men -- not loud, but definitely angry -- notable by its contrast to Japan, where public displays of emotion are rare. We felt sad when watching Japanese Olympians giving each other semi-enthusiastic "high-fives," while everyone else celebrated by hugging, kissing, jumping, and yelling. These observances led to a lengthy discussion of differences in energy levels we witnessed in the countries we visited -- and the general differences between Eastern and Western energy..
We had no hesitation in eating food from stalls on the street, something we avoided in Thailand due to the poor sanitary conditions.
And in Korea it was possible to buy reading material at about the same price one would pay in the USA -- even a good selection from which to buy. (Reading material in Thailand was even more expensive than in Japan, and more scarce -- we were told that there is a very heavy tax on foreign reading material.)
We like the teeming markets in Seoul, but were pretty much shopped out at this point. And we stuck to meals at Pizza Hut, TGI Friday, and Sizzler's, except for one lush Korean spread at the hotel. We just wanted to have one authentic Korean meal while in the country. When not shopping or eating or walking we devoured our books we had bought. We were sooo hungry for anything in English and were getting our fill.
Skipping the bad part about Thai Airlines and not being able to sit together on the return 11 hour flight from Seoul to LA, and skipping the part about the long, long delay at Dallas-Forth Worth airport, and barely mentioning that William Shatner was on our flight from LA to Texas -- we want to tell you that it was very emotional to arrive on US soil. Our greeting by customs at LAX was the best we have ever experienced anywhere. People were courteous, organized, clear, kind, and helpful -- and greatly appreciated. We know that people arriving in the USA at that airport, at least on that day and that time, received a more welcoming reception than we received in any country we visited -- and we told airport officials how good that felt (We can't say that it was the same at JFK 4 years ago - but we are more aware than we were then to, and had more to compare it, too.) -- We can't help but think that the welcome one receives when visiting a foreign country has a great influence on international impressions and international relations.
So now we are trying to adjust. We are still unpacking. Trying to get our home in order. We are seeing beautiful sunsets from our windows - as beautiful as any we photographed on China Beach. We are enjoying the cool weather -- (it seemed as if we were sweltering for ages). We are greatly enjoying the fall colors and took a four day trip through New England -- as beautiful as much of the landscape we had traveled thousands of miles to see. This is a beautiful country, too, and we have plans to see lots more of it.
We don't know where our next major trip will take us, but we do know that it is good to be home. It is good to be American. We believe it is the best country in the world, without a doubt -- and our problems pale by comparison to the problems we have seen elsewhere.
Hope to see you soon!
Peace and love,
Marie and Tom
