Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1
Vietnam
Chapter 2
New Home
in Kofu
Chapter 3
Hong Kong
China,
&
Korea
Chapter 4
Yamanashi
Chapter 5
Society
Chapter 6
Hospital
Chapter 7
Nikko
Chapter 8
Holiday
Greetings
Chapter 9
Culture
Chapter 10
Holiday
Trip:
Kansai
&
Kyushu
Chapter 11
Mores
Chapter 12
Hankos
& Brush-
writing
Chapter13
Friends
Chapter 14
Festivities
Chapter 15
Okinawa
&
Nagasaki
Chapter 16
Hong Kong
&
Australia
Chapter 17
Special
People
&
Events
Chapter 18
Coming
to
Japan
Chapter 19
Letter to
Editor
Chapter 20
Teaching
English
Chapter 21 Hamamatsu
Chapter 22
Women's
Relation-
ships
Chapter 23
Reflections
on
Education
Chapter 24
Nephews'
Visit
Chapter 25
Thailand,
Korea
&
Home
Chapter 26
Taking
Stock
Chapter 5
Japanese Society
October 14, 1995
Greetings from Japan,
Today was a beautiful day. The mountains were easily visible in every direction, the sun was shining, but it was a fall day with the trees just starting to turn. Fuji towers over the other mountains and is distinctive with its conical shape. It is snow covered now and a sight to behold.
We are getting things into shape after four days in Kamakura. It rained part of the time we were there and we enjoyed seeing some of the temples in the rain. Kamakura is a major tourist city in Japan. It was the center of power in Japan from the 12th to the14th centuries. It contains many temples and shrines and has been the home of many writers and artists.Our visit coincided with a holiday weekend and the city was very busy. However, when we went to the temples we were the only ones there and we watched a Buddhist ceremony for quite a while.
We also saw the giant Buddha - the largest sitting Buddha in the world, and did some of the other tourist things. The highlights of this trip were the place we stayed and some of the people we met, in addition to the very warm reception we got at Kamakura Jogakuin High School.
It was good to see Mrs. Inoue again, spend some time with her and reminisce about the years of the exchange program. She and Tom initiated the exchange program. Tom credits her with setting the tone for the Japanese teachers' demeanor when they come to PV. Many teachers from other schools are too formal and rigid during visits. Mrs. Inoue proved herself to be a relaxed and flexible chaperone and helped put everyone at ease.We visited with some of the girls we had met when they were at PV in 1994, and we had dinner in a tempura restaurant owned by the parents of one of the girls. They were surprised and happy to see us, the food was great, and we look forward to going back there when we return to Kamakura. We also had a nice visit with the English teachers, but it wasn’t long enough. We have such warm feelings toward them and we wish we had much more time to spend together.
A small world story -- while "touristing" we said "Hello" to some other gaijin (foreigners) we saw. And then we stopped to chat. They are also from the Philadelphia area, are in Japan for four months, about an hour's train ride from us -- where he is teaching in a Temple branch in Japan. They have been married two years also. They also happen to be very good friends with one of Marie's coworkers at the VA. We are hoping to have dinner with them sometime soon.
Thanks to Mrs. Inoue, we stayed at Zushi Marina, a private club on the water that was a short way from the city proper. One must be a member of the club to go there or be a guest of a member. It was incredibly cheap for Japan ($30.00 per night per person) and set in an absolutely beautiful location, with a wondrous view of Fuji..
It reminded us of Florida, with its palms and tropical vegetation. We could watch the sunsets from our suite, which was bigger than our present apartment. It had a separate tatami room, a dining area with a regular (Western) table and chairs, a bedroom, living room area, and small kitchen for preparing food if one so desired. Our first morning there we had the standard Japanese breakfast (they differ somewhat from one region of the country to another). Rice (always rice), some raw fish, some tiny baby fish with black eyes in white bodies mixed with shredded daikon (radish), a whole small grilled fish that needed to be prodded and dug at with the chopsticks to get the meat off, some pickled things, the standard pickled plums, ume boshi, (bitter, bitter, bitter), green tea, seaweed, and ice cream or sherbet for dessert (not typical)! The other mornings we bought doughnuts at Mister Donut for breakfast and had plenty of fruit.
Fruit is a popular gift here -- we have been getting many grapes, Japanese pears, and other produce from time to time. They just show up on Tom's desk or friends bring them to us. Wine is also a popular gift as this is the heart of the grape country in Japan.
One of our favorite interactions in Kamakura was with a trio of young Japanese men who wanted to practice their English and also entertain us. They talked us into buying some souvenirs and we bantered with them for awhile before we went on our way. That kind of exchange has been fairly common for us and that is what makes us like Japan the most. On our way to school each morning there is a woman of indeterminate age who says, "Good morning" with an excited smile and with pride. One day she had a friend with her who she wanted to see us. After the normal good mornings, they giggled as they passed. We intend to stop and talk to her one day, when it feels right. There is another friendly older man who walks by us very purposefully every morning, always carrying a towel, wearing a Nomo hat, and a smile on his face, a bow, and a greeting. We wonder if he is going to a bathhouse or if he is going to play gate ball (a game similar to croquet, and taken very seriously here by older people). While in Tokyo this weekend, we were in the train station, putting things into a locker when a young woman and her mother approached to ask if they could help. When they discovered that we had a couple of hours before our train, they invited us to go to church with them .... a natural and pleasant gesture. Nothing like that surprises us any more, but we are always touched.
Back to a topic of an earlier letter. The contrasts in Japan -- it seems that it is impossible to be here for long without finding them striking. For this letter we will divide them into categories. Modesty and Saving Face. Health. Education. Cleanliness. That doesn't cover some of other political, philosophical, religious, or sociological paradoxes.
Modesty - what can one say about it here. It is a prevailing norm, for both women and men. In dress and mannerisms. One does not call attention to oneself in any way that would single him/her out. In classes, students do not raise their hands. That would be too individualistic. Women wear very drab colors for the most part, the feet are always covered, there is little eye contact .... almost none with strangers. It is considered rude to look at someone on a bus or train, etc. Most people look down, read their papers, eat, or sleep.
However, public drunkenness is common. Last night we went to a department store and found a fairly well dressed clean middle-aged man lying on the floor in the entryway -- with a half empty bottle of whisky on the floor beside him. He was pretty much ignored. As we left, about 15 minutes later, there was a young man trying to talk to him and, perhaps, help him.
An aside .... While we were in Vietnam, we saw no people who appeared intoxicated, and no evidence of illicit drug use. Certainly there is some, but compared to other countries we have visited we were surprised at the absence of these phenomena. When we asked about it, we were told by our cyclo drivers that people in Vietnam work too hard to have time to drink. In Xian, China, we were warned to not walk in the area around our hotel because of the serious problem with drug addicts, and we certainly saw intoxicated people in China. In Japan it is commonplace. When we hear about the drunkenness among Native Americans, it is frequently presented as a problem of helplessness, hopelessness, and poverty. Why then did we not see it in Vietnam? It was the poorest country we visited and people have much to be depressed about -- with the many years they have been under the control of imperialists and the many years they have been at war. We are curious.
People are preoccupied with health in Japan. There are articles regarding how 10 cups of green tea will cut the incidence of cancer in half, and daikon (Japanese radish), seaweed, and numerous other indigenous foods are considered to be anti-carcinogens. Very few people are overweight and our friends comment on all the rich foods that people in America eat. At our Japanese breakfast this week, our friend was telling us that the pickled daikon (the kind we like) is not good for you because it has too much salt, and we were given other information about the healthy aspects of the Japanese diet. Another friend informed us that he has two cups of green tea and his pickled plum every morning before eating his morning meal. Breakfast consists of rice, seaweed, and other Japanese goodies. No bacon or eggs for him. His lunch consists of a bento (Japanese boxed lunch) and a small container of yogurt. No argument with that.
However, 70% of Japanese men, and an increasing number of women, smoke. The government has a virtual monopoly on cigarette production in Japan and sales generate huge revenues. It will be interesting to see how the government balances that with the health hazards of tobacco. Until now the contradiction has been largely ignored.
There are vending machines all over the place with beer, sake, and cigarettes, among other things, and people of any age can use them to get anything they want. Soap operas show teenagers smoking and drinking is a daily occurrence on the soaps. (Marie is trying to catch a couple of them once in awhile to try to get a better handle on the culture and to study the language a little bit.) Meanwhile, there was a full-page article in the Japan Times this week about American teenagers taking risks with their lives by smoking and having unprotected sex.
Education. In the states we have all heard a lot about the superiority of Japanese education. And we certainly are impressed with some of the virtuosity of the young musicians. There is a great emphasis placed on doing well academically. So much so, that many students become very depressed about school. Test time is a tense period for everyone -- teachers, parents and students. On a few occasions, students kill their parents because of arguments over academic performance. We have read about that happening at least once since we have been here. Corporal punishment is also controversial in Japan, and at the present time, a teacher is on trial for killing a student. He hit her head against a wall when she wasn't cooperative enough and she died from the injuries. His defense team is saying that corporal punishment must be allowed in the schools in order to be able to control the students.
Another big problem in the schools is bullying. Public opinion polls have been conducted concerning the subject, and parents are expressing a real concern. Bullying is the next topic that Tom will be covering in his ethics class. It is a serious, slippery problem. As far as we know it is not a major concern of the girls at Eiwa -- but one never knows.
Cleanliness. There can't be any cleaner people in the world than the Japanese. They clean every inch of their carpet with a lint roller! Scrub the floors every day. Scrub the sidewalks in front of the their homes and in front of their places of business. Sweep the sidewalks over and over. Sort the trash like you wouldn't believe. Washing of clothes is a full time job and is done every morning. They scrub their bodies and rinse thoroughly before getting into the bath. There are special slippers to be worn only in the bathroom or when using the toilet. Other slippers for the house, others for their cars, and others for the balconies, etc.
How can this obsession with cleanliness be reconciled with public urination, the sad state of public toilet facilities and the littered overpasses in the city that weren't cleaned until it was time for the Emperor's visit?
October 24, 1995
We've had a busy weekend! It was international foods time and party time!
Friday evening the English department had a "welcoming party" for Tom, a visiting teacher from Thailand and a Canadian teacher who was at Eiwa 32 years ago. Interestingly enough, three of the Eiwa teachers at the party were former students of hers! The prerequisite speeches were short and we could spend most the evening eating, drinking and talking. We went to a Chinese restaurant because the teacher in charge of the party asked Tom what his favorite food was. There were a multitude of courses, starting with appetizers....which included jellyfish...., shrimp in chili sauce and, of course, sweet and sour pork. Besides the wonderful food, our dining area overlooked the city of Kofu. It was altogether a very nice evening.
Saturday afternoon, Mr. Nakayama picked us up to take us to a wedding reception. He came a little early because he wanted to stop at his car dealer (of thirty years) to talk about a new car. His current Subaru is three years old and has only 25,000 or so miles on it. However, Japanese auto inspection laws are such that it is sometimes cheaper to buy a new car after 3 years. New cars need only to be inspected after they are three years old. However, the inspection itself is over $1000. Add in repair bills, insurance and a new car is a definite option. We accompanied him to the dealership, thinking he was stopping in for a chat. Little did we know that he was close to closing a deal by the time we left. He was still undecided about getting the navigator. He has bought his last ten cars from the same salesman. While the salesman will not reduce the price of the new car he will negotiate the price of the trade-in. Plus, he always gives Mr. Nakayama first rate service.
The wedding reception was for an Eiwa grad who had been an exchange student at Perkiomen Valley. It was held at APIO Wedding Plaza, which is the tallest building in Kofu. They have a complete wedding service -- gifts, dinner, gowns, tuxes, food -- everything you could possibly need to get married.
Actually, we weren't quite sure what was going on with the couple. They were having a reception but were planning a wedding and a honeymoon for the next year. They are married -- you only need to go to city hall and change names on the family register to get married -- but they are both working now and may want to wait until they have more time to do the rest.
There were about two hundred people, 2 musicians and about 20-25 waiters and assorted other attendants. Before our meal -- completely French (including the menu) -- the chef came out and gave us a ten minute speech about what we were going to eat. The table setting itself was a sight to behold -- 20 pieces of silverware and numerous dishes and seven glasses.
The formal ceremonies were brief. Only one major speaker to toast the bride and groom. He talked mostly about the bride's late father who passed away two years ago. Everyone who understood Japanese was crying. Later the bride and groom visited each table giving each guest a box filled with "wedding cake". (The cutting of the cake is staged, the "cake" is not actually cut, and in fact is not real cake). When they visited our table, the mistress of ceremonies introduced us and we were literally "in the spotlight" for a few seconds. Tom had been asked in advance if he would like to make a speech, but he declined. After the formalities Mr. Nakayama informed us that we were the only guests to be introduced.
Weddings are horribly expensive in Japan, even though guests give gifts of money (in special wedding gift envelopes). The equivalent of $200 is the average gift. The bride and groom also give presents to each guest. In this case it was a beautiful set of jeweled cocktail pics. A young Canadian teacher on the Eiwa staff had a "bargain basement" reception (he and his wife even baked the cookies) in early September and it cost $15,000. The money they received as wedding gifts wasn't sufficient to cover all the costs and they still owe several thousand dollars.
Marie was particularly interested in what women would be wearing. We were told that she should wear something colorful and dressy. Nothing could be too dressy, it turned out. Some guest were wearing formal kimonos. Others were wearing western style clothing. Everyone was very elegant. Brides typically wear several outfits during their wedding festivities. They may wear a formal kimono for part of the ceremonies and western style wedding gowns for parts of the celebration. In some cases a third dress may be worn. As you can tell, weddings truly are big business. We were lucky enough to have an opportunity to tour a wedding and kimono shop in Kofu and were astounded at some of the selections.
Sunday, we spent the evening with the Kawabe family. Mr. Kawabe teaches history at Eiwa and is one of the people we most admire in Japan. His wife was a student of Tom's in 1973-74. They have two delightful and lively boys aged 5 and 8. Mr. Kawabe studies and teaches kendo (Japanese fencing), and he and his older son study aikido. One incident involving him will become part of our Japan folk-lore and demonstrated a valuable lesson. At the "Eiwa Festival" several teachers performed at a music program. Mr. Kawabe played the piano (he had been taking lessons for two years). Halfway through a Beethoven piece, he stopped. He began .... and stopped, a couple of time.. Then he explained to the audience that he had just learned the number. He started again and finished! What presence of mind! What humility.
We had a wonderful evening with the entire family and really enjoyed their sons. Both are full of energy and very loved and valued as individuals. The younger one is quite willing to use his English (which he is learning from watching "Sesame Street") and, throughout the evening would interject: "thank you", "you're welcome", "delicious". The food was delicious.... sukiyaki.... topped off with banana muffins Marie had baked as a house gift for the family.
Calligraphy classes have begun for Marie. Mr. Nakayama found out that she has been studying kanji on her own and would like to know more about them. The same day he heard about her interest, he made arrangements for her to take calligraphy lessons. After her first class he bought her an apron for classes and a coffee table to practice on. That is the nature of our Japanese friends. We don't dare tell anyone we like anything, or we might receive it as a gift.
Calligraphy is difficult, a very exact art. One of the most difficult things is to sit on one's legs for over an hour. And to make matters worse, Marie had walked for 33 km the day before her first class, so her legs weren't in the best condition. She looked up the word for "sleeping" to explain to her teacher what was going on at one point. The teacher has a Japanese-English dictionary and English-Japanese dictionary, which are frequently consulted by both teacher and student.
Her teacher is a pleasant, kind, patient woman who did not want to charge anything, and informed Mr. Nakayama that Marie could come as many times as she wanted in a month. She has a daughter in one of Tom's classes at Eiwa, and she used to teach calligraphy at Eiwa -- so she wanted to give the lessons as a gift. However, Mr. Nakayama negotiated a fee with her because he said that he felt everyone would be more comfortable with that. It is 3500 yen (about $35) per month -- the kindergarten rate!
We find it somewhat ironic that Marie, with a doctorate degree, is learning how to write 1,2,3,4,etc. in Japanese. It is fun. It is also stimulating to be a student again (at this point Marie knows a little over 600 kanji -- to read them and understand their meaning -- but not the pronunciations for them, and not to write them correctly.) Between Tom's understanding of hiragana and katakana and Marie's beginning knowledge of kanji, we can read many of the signs as we travel about.
We better close this letter with this page, because Robin informed us that this is the limit before going to the next postage rate in the US. Still a bargain, though. We mailed 9 letters one day a couple of weeks ago and it cost us about $16.50.
Hope everyone is well and enjoying the fall. Thanks for your letters. We really enjoy hearing from you.
Update 1999: Throughout our year in Japan and since returning home we have read numerous articles in Japanese newspapers about many classrooms being out of control. It is presented as a serious problem. In the time we were in Japan we read numerous articles about absenteeism, school dropouts, violence against parents, and suicide, all related to the pressures of school.
However, as we write about those things, we recognize a cruel irony. Although suicide that emanates from bullying in not uncommon in that culture, the kind of violence that has occurred in our schools in the USA this past year is unheard of there. It makes us feel very sad when our Japanese friends say that they do not want their young people to come to the USA to study. They say it is safer to go to Canada. Since traveling internationally as we have found it painful to hear that the USA is the most violent nation in the world, due to guns. Unfortunately, we cannot disagree.
Love to all,
Tom and Marie
You might want to check this site for Kamakura information. We recommend the first two routes under "Walking around Kamakura," "Cultural Treasures of Kamakura," and "An Introduction to Kamakura City."
