Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1
Vietnam
Chapter 2
New Home
in Kofu
Chapter 3
Hong Kong
China,
&
Korea
Chapter 4
Yamanashi
Chapter 5
Society
Chapter 6
Hospital
Chapter 7
Nikko
Chapter 8
Holiday
Greetings
Chapter 9
Culture
Chapter 10
Holiday
Trip:
Kansai
&
Kyushu
Chapter 11
Mores
Chapter 12
Hankos
& Brush-
writing
Chapter13
Friends
Chapter 14
Festivities
Chapter 15
Okinawa
&
Nagasaki
Chapter 16
Hong Kong
&
Australia
Chapter 17
Special
People
&
Events
Chapter 18
Coming
to
Japan
Chapter 19
Letter to
Editor
Chapter 20
Teaching
English
Chapter 21 Hamamatsu
Chapter 22
Women's
Relation-
ships
Chapter 23
Reflections
on
Education
Chapter 24
Nephews'
Visit
Chapter 25
Thailand,
Korea
&
Home
Chapter 26
Taking
Stock
Chapter 8
Holiday Greetings
November 24, 1995
Holiday Greetings,
This letter will be short so we will have time to get it out and have it distributed before the holidays. Hope it finds everyone healthy and in a holiday spirit.
Fuji is now completely snow covered. The weather just turned cold today for the first time, and it is beginning to feel like winter. Yesterday, Thanksgiving, was warm and a lovely day.
For Thanksgiving we bought a turkey roll in Tokyo, along with some other American fare -- canned sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, Pepperidge Farm stuffing mix, blueberries for muffins, and whole wheat flour to bake honey wheat bread. The turkey was about $8.00 per pound but well worth the price. (The whole turkeys we saw ranged from $55 to $60.) It was fun to cook with our limited facilities, and we were pleased with how well everything turned out. We had a nice dinner and enjoyed the day. But we really missed Marie's sister's pecan pie. No pie for us....
Christmas has come to Japan, and it is surprising to find as many Christmas decorations as we have. They began appearing around Halloween, and now a couple of department stores are playing Christmas songs (in English) over their PA systems. Since only 1% of Japan's population is Christian, it seems odd to see the Western influence to this degree. But the merchants benefit by tying Christmas to the New Year's celebration -- which has always been the traditional gift giving time. Plus, December is when employers give their workers an "end of the year" bonus, which can amount to several months' salary.
Our friends tell us that it is very difficult to be a Christian in Japan. Most of the holidays are Shinto or Buddhist, and Christians are unable to participate, as they are not supposed to worship "graven images." In addition, Christianity tends to be exclusive and centered around the individual's relationship with a personal God. Japanese religions are inclusive and are more group-oriented. Mr. Nakayama's brother is the minister of his church, which is located on their property. His father, a Christian minister, had a difficult time during the war, and was detained for awhile. Japanese Christians were suspect because they belonged to an "alien" religion.
Since Eiwa is a private Christian school (founded by Canadian missionaries), it will have various Christmas activities. These will include a performance of the Messiah, and a carol sing. We are hoping to hear the bell choir perform, as they are superb. Also, the organ is a quite impressive pipe organ (imported from Austria) and adds significantly to any of the activities in the chapel.
New Year's is a much bigger celebration in Japan. Several weeks ago, the main post office in town marked the first day for selling New Year's cards. There was a band and a ceremony -- televised later in the day. New Year's cards are often hand-made with wood block stamps. 1996 will be the year of the rat, so there are rat stamps all over the place. Since Tom was born in the year of the rat, we will be collecting them.
Because of Tom's illness we were not able to finalize plans for the trip toThailand. All flights are full, and Tom discovered that he has to be back at Eiwa sooner than he thought. (Even though our travel agent at the "official" agency for Eiwa has taken good care of us and speaks decent English, there are always communication problems and things get lost in translation!) Now we are hoping to tour areas of Japan, and are in the process of making plans for that trip.We'll fill you in later.
We are both well and Tom is fully recovered. Eiwa is keeping him very busy now and we are reminded that in Japan men do not have much of a family life. They work very long hours, and, in essence, go home to sleep. Tomorrow and Saturday, many teachers will spend the day at a speech contest sponsored by Eiwa. In fact, at 5 o'clock this evening (Friday) most of those same teachers were going to spend several hours making preparations for the contest. (The irony is that the contest was not the idea of Eiwa teachers -- it was the brain-child of an Eiwa junior college professor who has no role in the elaborate preparations!)
It is a little easier for the foreign teachers at Eiwa, but the Japanese teachers may be at school until late at night -- faculty meetings have been known to run past 8 o'clock. And all the teachers may have special meetings called at just about any time. In addition, working on Saturdays is not unusual. This spring, Eiwa will ask teachers to give up some of their vacation time to help move into some new buildings.
Until about two years ago, the students had school 6 days a week, but the national policy changed, and they now attend 5 days. However, many of the students also go to school on Saturday morning for additional activities and classes. And it is not unusual for students to be at school from early in the morning until 7 at night, up to 7 days a week when they have special activities. Many of them then have long bus or train rides to go home. Another interesting note -- the students scrub down the floors of the school every day, clean their home rooms, and the toilets, tend the grounds around the school and wipe down the steps before leaving. The students are supervised by their homeroom teachers, but Eiwa students are masters of passive aggressive behavior and give new meaning to the phrase "once over lightly". On the positive side, with students cleaning the school, littering and graffiti are virtually non-existent.
We are still trying to understand some of the rules in Japan. We're not certain which side of the street or steps one is supposed to take. As soon as we think we have it figured out, it seems to change -- or different areas have different rules. We have figured out that in crossing the street one is not supposed to make eye contact with anyone! As soon as you do, you're lost. It means you will yield. Instead it is best to put your head down and plow ahead. Another rule seems to be, "We are not going to tell you what the rules are, but you are supposed to figure them out." Even the Japanese teachers don't always have a clue when or where some activity is supposed to take place until the very last minute.
Calligraphy lessons are going well, and Mrs. Ogawa is a dear. She is working on her English and teaching Marie some Japanese with the help of several dictionaries. Language is no problem. Today Mrs. Ogawa said that Marie is very Japanese. We don't know exactly what she meant, but it felt like a compliment. Marie has made friends with a group of children who are also taking private calligraphy classes. They are fascinated with Marie, and she is entranced with them.
Without a doubt, children are a major highlight of Marie's life in Japan. She has made special friends (tomodachi) with two little girls who live on our block. They are about the same age as our granddaughter. We make a ritual out of saying "Hello" and "Goodbye" with them. At first we thought they were twins, but found out that they are cousins. Their grandmother baby-sits them each day at her tofu shop, while their mothers work. Day care is still rare in Japan and it seems fairly common that the grandmother baby-sits for working mothers.
If it has not become apparent in our previous letters, we are very aware that Japan is in the midst of great change. It is a culture that seems caught between ancient and modern times, and is not certain which way to go. In a way it seems as if they are trying to hang on to both and rejecting both at the same time. If that sounds very confusing, it is. People still bow a great deal, but more and more people are shaking hands. While marriages are considered to be conveniences and not love centered or intimate by any measure, an increasing number of women are objecting to their husbands' philandering. Many are rejecting the traditional marriage system. Often young women delay marriage as long as possible because, once in it, their freedom ends. It is preferable for them to get a job with a steady income and to enjoy life as long as they can before entering into the obligations of wife and mother.
Recently, a young doctor murdered his wife and two young children, because his wife objected to his affairs. (What is unusual is that she objected rather than just accepting it as her lot.) The prosecutor is calling for the death penalty, something we thought was unheard of in Japan. Many women are choosing to remain behind with their children when their husbands are transferred to other cities with their jobs. Various television shows we've watched recently have mocked the pomp and circumstance of Japan. Even books we have bought in Japan have been very critical of the culture. Nevertheless, there is still much structure and ceremony in every day life, and it certainly is a world apart from our life in the US. It is an interesting time to be here.
Since we intended to keep this short we will end at this point. We wish you the happiest of holidays and really would like to hear from you. At this time of the year it is very easy to be homesick, and we miss our family and friends.
Peace and love,
Tom and Marie
